I don't know how much time I have, since I am borrowing a VERY weak signa from a neighbor......but wanted to let you all know we are hanging in there.
Still no word for me on a job, but Rob was able to get some work today and tomarrow on the coast, so that will help on next pay day.
we have been blessed again by friends and strangers at the preschool and the church that it is run through with gifts of food for the family. We currently have about 3 weeks of Food in the pantry and fridge and enough snacks for matthew to take to school for at least 2 weeks if not more.
It looks like rob's check will cover our van and insurance, and pay part of the utilities as well as keep the phones on since that is what I have on all the applications.
Jenny sent me a little bit of cash, which is paying for the animals to get fed this month ( love ya!)
and of cours Rob's dad is still a HUGE help every day just by finding work for Rob, and letting us live in the house, let alone everything else he helps or is helping with currently.
I'm still helping with the kids classrooms, I was in Samantha's today, it is so neat to hear her sing there little songs and watch her do the centers and interact with her friends :)
Matthew can't wait for Monday!
This weekend we are going to be hanging out at home, I think I may drag out my sewing machine and try and get some projects done, and of course I ALWAYS have laundry to catch up on! everything else is done tho, its amazing how much I get done when I don't have the T.V. or internet to distract me! LOL
so there is our update for this week!
Showing posts with label poor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poor. Show all posts
Friday, September 12, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
ignorance is bliss
The last week to week and a half, I have blissfully been ignoring our worsening situation........well trying to at least!
My cousin came out to visit for the long holiday weekend, and graciously paid for EVERYTHING we did or ate, which was a nice reprieve. Then we had a short week with school, and I even got a chance to go up to the college with Rob one day and get some class work done with the library book. A "friend" got married on friday, and the inlaws watched the kids so we could enjoy the reception, we had a nice yummy free dinner and even got to dance together a little bit :)
Yesterday, I sat down and read my textbooks that came in the mail because of Crystal! (thanks again!) and we watched some old movies we had around the house with the kids.
Rob even got his first paycheck since South Carolina on friday!
And then last night after the kids were in bed I sat down to look at the bills......and compare them to Rob's check..... Well we can pay for the Van, and the one credit company that is threating collection who I made payment arrangements with can get paid, and I can pay our cellphone bill so that we have phones. And that's all, the money is gone.......
It hit me again, the situation we are in.......I can't avoid it, and so far I can't fix it eithier.
I started to take a inventory of the food we had from Christina, and the things that Andrea bought for us before she left. I'm back where we were on Aug 25th, I think we have about 7-10 days worth of meat for dinners, rice and boxed potatos and frozen veggies. I have cereal, enough to last the kids about 10-14 days mabey a little longer.....we are buying soy milk with some of the money that Rob is making today painting a room for his dad. We have 2 packs of corn dogs and a loaf of bread and some peanut butter and jelly and lunch meat for lunches....again I think it will last us about 1-2 weeks.
So monday I shove back my pride and I will be calling Love Inc. to see what they can do to help us with food, and possiably a job for that matter.
I have turned in 16 Applications!!! and I have gotten 4 responses of positions being filled........I registered with Act-1 temp agency last week, and am praying that they will call me this week with something, even if its uber temporary.
Ignorance was bliss for a little bit.........guess its time to face realities deamons once again.......
thanks for listening to me vent, and I continue to ask for your prayers, and if you have or hear of anyone that is hiring for a job, or needs odd work done let me know!!!!!!
My cousin came out to visit for the long holiday weekend, and graciously paid for EVERYTHING we did or ate, which was a nice reprieve. Then we had a short week with school, and I even got a chance to go up to the college with Rob one day and get some class work done with the library book. A "friend" got married on friday, and the inlaws watched the kids so we could enjoy the reception, we had a nice yummy free dinner and even got to dance together a little bit :)
Yesterday, I sat down and read my textbooks that came in the mail because of Crystal! (thanks again!) and we watched some old movies we had around the house with the kids.
Rob even got his first paycheck since South Carolina on friday!
And then last night after the kids were in bed I sat down to look at the bills......and compare them to Rob's check..... Well we can pay for the Van, and the one credit company that is threating collection who I made payment arrangements with can get paid, and I can pay our cellphone bill so that we have phones. And that's all, the money is gone.......
It hit me again, the situation we are in.......I can't avoid it, and so far I can't fix it eithier.
I started to take a inventory of the food we had from Christina, and the things that Andrea bought for us before she left. I'm back where we were on Aug 25th, I think we have about 7-10 days worth of meat for dinners, rice and boxed potatos and frozen veggies. I have cereal, enough to last the kids about 10-14 days mabey a little longer.....we are buying soy milk with some of the money that Rob is making today painting a room for his dad. We have 2 packs of corn dogs and a loaf of bread and some peanut butter and jelly and lunch meat for lunches....again I think it will last us about 1-2 weeks.
So monday I shove back my pride and I will be calling Love Inc. to see what they can do to help us with food, and possiably a job for that matter.
I have turned in 16 Applications!!! and I have gotten 4 responses of positions being filled........I registered with Act-1 temp agency last week, and am praying that they will call me this week with something, even if its uber temporary.
Ignorance was bliss for a little bit.........guess its time to face realities deamons once again.......
thanks for listening to me vent, and I continue to ask for your prayers, and if you have or hear of anyone that is hiring for a job, or needs odd work done let me know!!!!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I think God Hates me!
I know I just had a wonderful vacation, and the kids have started school, but I just can't blog about all of that right now........another time mabey.
In other news: I don't know what I have done in this life or a past one, but the Creator of this universe and those who lead me must be eithier really pissed at me or just lacking all concern!
We got back from our S.C. trip, and found out that due to the drop in oil prices, my husband's services were "no longer needed" at the lease in oxnard. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?!
AGAIN we are without employment, and here is the kicker....we don't qualify for state aid! two reasons, 1st. Rob is technically still "employed" by HDB so that his dad can HOPEFULLY find some contract work for him to do, and 2nd, we own ( and by own I mean pay for!) two "new" cars. So here I sit, "borrowing" internet wi-fi, waiting and praying that one of the 5 places I applyed at on tuesday, will call me for an interview......I found 3 more to apply for today after I pick up the kids and can go to my FIL's to print my resume.
So here's the scoop, I'm behind 2 months as of 9-1-08 on all my utilites, I'm in the hole $341 as of this morning at the bank, one car payment was due 3 days ago the other is due in 10 days along with the insurance for them. Rob gets a partial check tomarrow......praying that it covers the cars and gas!
My kids are both in school this week,(speaking of, how many parents do you think had to pay for thier kids book bag with $7 in dimes and a few quarters?, I wanted to just hide my face when I handed the teacher the baggie! but she didn't seem to notice!) so I have been driving to and from rosedale all week picking matthew up, and to top it all of, yesterday morning I noticed my gas tank cap was off of the van (Rob just went and filled me up with his dad's credit card the night before......now that card is maxed but at least we got some gas, THANKS DAD!) I get in the car and I have........ 1/2 of a tank! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? not only are we poorer than dirt, but someone syphoned our gas??????? FUCK!!!!!!!
School starts on Monday for Rob and I, we re-arranged his schedual so that he is in class Mon-Thur. from 7am-10:30am and can the go and pick up the kids, and I dropped all of my classes and picked up a few online so that i can get a job.
Oh and did I mention my cousin from Colorado is coming to visit us on Wed. the 27th until the 1st. of September? she already bought her plane tickets, and I don't even know how we are going to afford to go and pick her up from LAX let alone how I am going to feed her while she is here!
On an up note I'm loosing weight, trying to conserve our meat in the freezer so we are having "normal" portions every night instead of the ammount we would normally eat. Also eating lots of frozed veggies to fill me up while rob and the kids eat more pasta and veggies with each meal too, I guess being poor is forcing us to be healthy?
I think I can get our grocceries to last another 2 weeks or so, we might be living on spaghettie for a few days, but at least it will taste good! :)
My stomach hurts, I'm exhausted, I still need to give samantha's preschool her $5 desaster money....oh well it can wait..... I am going to go cash in our cans so I can buy the dog food tonight, that should last her a month at least.
Please Please Please, Let someone call me back about an interview!!! I have given myself until friday evening for a call back, and then I am headed to denny's and longs, and all the other minimum wage, crappy hours, part time jobs I can think of. Worst case scenario, I drop my classes compleatly for a while and get two part time jobs........need to leave the weekends open so Rob can do contract work when its avaliable, can't beat his $20 an hour if I tried!
Why does this happen to us? its become such a normal occurance that I can't even cry about it, I just feel hopeless, yet I know somehow we will make it, we always do....I don't have any tears left for these struggles we have had to many years of them....yet I don't know how much longer I can grit my teeth and put my nose to the grind stone, I don't know how much longer I can pull up on my boot straps, how many more times before they break? how many more times before I break? What other option is there? Shouldn't I just be happy we have a home, and food in the pantry and health insurance? yes I SHOULD, but somehow I'm not......mabey I'm selfish, mabey I expect to much, but I want MORE, I want to pay my utilities, I want to not owe my bank money, I want to be able to afford to have two cars in our family, I want my husband to be able to work so that I can volunteer in my kids class rooms, I want to go to school and get a degree so that I am worth more to the "world", I want to know that I can afford the books for my classes, I want to not have to leave my husband so that some government agiency will help pay for my college career or food for my family, I want someone to say....you are a family, and husband and wife with children who are trying so hard to make a better way for yourselves in the wake of trials and tribulations, in the wake of chronic illness, in the wake of disabilities, of hard times and low times.......you, BOTH of you, stuck it out, you didn't get divorced, you didn't loose your kids, you arn't drug addicted, or alcohoics, your just struggling, and we can help......I wish that someone could HELP, I wish that someone would see how hard we have tried, how much we want a better life, how much we NEED a chance to overcome our illnesses and bad luck....I wish Life would give us a CHANCE, just once.......let us keep a job, let us keep our health, let us better ourselves.......I don't want a hand out, I just want to be able to support my family and live a comfortable life in a nice home, i don't want anyone to GIVE me anything, I just want someone to help ME ACHIEVE, help Rob ACHIEVE a few of our DREAMS.
Why can't we catch a break? why is this life so hard? what is the lesson I am supposed to be learning? I know no one has the answers, and some would say trust in God, and everything happens for a reason....but right now I need some answers!
Every bone in my body wants to Run as fast as I can from this life, I want to give up and just not get out of bed, I want to leave this life behind and start again, I want a DO OVER.
and yet my brain says, be logical, before long you will have a job, and my heart reminds me that my babies need me, and that my husband loves me, and that leaving wouldn't fix it, giving up doesn't fix it........so I'm off to pick up my children, and smile at them and tell them I love them and make there lives wonderful because that is what they deserve and no matter how much Life tries to break me THEY will NEVER KNOW IT, thier life will be everything it has been, no matter what!
In other news: I don't know what I have done in this life or a past one, but the Creator of this universe and those who lead me must be eithier really pissed at me or just lacking all concern!
We got back from our S.C. trip, and found out that due to the drop in oil prices, my husband's services were "no longer needed" at the lease in oxnard. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?!
AGAIN we are without employment, and here is the kicker....we don't qualify for state aid! two reasons, 1st. Rob is technically still "employed" by HDB so that his dad can HOPEFULLY find some contract work for him to do, and 2nd, we own ( and by own I mean pay for!) two "new" cars. So here I sit, "borrowing" internet wi-fi, waiting and praying that one of the 5 places I applyed at on tuesday, will call me for an interview......I found 3 more to apply for today after I pick up the kids and can go to my FIL's to print my resume.
So here's the scoop, I'm behind 2 months as of 9-1-08 on all my utilites, I'm in the hole $341 as of this morning at the bank, one car payment was due 3 days ago the other is due in 10 days along with the insurance for them. Rob gets a partial check tomarrow......praying that it covers the cars and gas!
My kids are both in school this week,(speaking of, how many parents do you think had to pay for thier kids book bag with $7 in dimes and a few quarters?, I wanted to just hide my face when I handed the teacher the baggie! but she didn't seem to notice!) so I have been driving to and from rosedale all week picking matthew up, and to top it all of, yesterday morning I noticed my gas tank cap was off of the van (Rob just went and filled me up with his dad's credit card the night before......now that card is maxed but at least we got some gas, THANKS DAD!) I get in the car and I have........ 1/2 of a tank! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? not only are we poorer than dirt, but someone syphoned our gas??????? FUCK!!!!!!!
School starts on Monday for Rob and I, we re-arranged his schedual so that he is in class Mon-Thur. from 7am-10:30am and can the go and pick up the kids, and I dropped all of my classes and picked up a few online so that i can get a job.
Oh and did I mention my cousin from Colorado is coming to visit us on Wed. the 27th until the 1st. of September? she already bought her plane tickets, and I don't even know how we are going to afford to go and pick her up from LAX let alone how I am going to feed her while she is here!
On an up note I'm loosing weight, trying to conserve our meat in the freezer so we are having "normal" portions every night instead of the ammount we would normally eat. Also eating lots of frozed veggies to fill me up while rob and the kids eat more pasta and veggies with each meal too, I guess being poor is forcing us to be healthy?
I think I can get our grocceries to last another 2 weeks or so, we might be living on spaghettie for a few days, but at least it will taste good! :)
My stomach hurts, I'm exhausted, I still need to give samantha's preschool her $5 desaster money....oh well it can wait..... I am going to go cash in our cans so I can buy the dog food tonight, that should last her a month at least.
Please Please Please, Let someone call me back about an interview!!! I have given myself until friday evening for a call back, and then I am headed to denny's and longs, and all the other minimum wage, crappy hours, part time jobs I can think of. Worst case scenario, I drop my classes compleatly for a while and get two part time jobs........need to leave the weekends open so Rob can do contract work when its avaliable, can't beat his $20 an hour if I tried!
Why does this happen to us? its become such a normal occurance that I can't even cry about it, I just feel hopeless, yet I know somehow we will make it, we always do....I don't have any tears left for these struggles we have had to many years of them....yet I don't know how much longer I can grit my teeth and put my nose to the grind stone, I don't know how much longer I can pull up on my boot straps, how many more times before they break? how many more times before I break? What other option is there? Shouldn't I just be happy we have a home, and food in the pantry and health insurance? yes I SHOULD, but somehow I'm not......mabey I'm selfish, mabey I expect to much, but I want MORE, I want to pay my utilities, I want to not owe my bank money, I want to be able to afford to have two cars in our family, I want my husband to be able to work so that I can volunteer in my kids class rooms, I want to go to school and get a degree so that I am worth more to the "world", I want to know that I can afford the books for my classes, I want to not have to leave my husband so that some government agiency will help pay for my college career or food for my family, I want someone to say....you are a family, and husband and wife with children who are trying so hard to make a better way for yourselves in the wake of trials and tribulations, in the wake of chronic illness, in the wake of disabilities, of hard times and low times.......you, BOTH of you, stuck it out, you didn't get divorced, you didn't loose your kids, you arn't drug addicted, or alcohoics, your just struggling, and we can help......I wish that someone could HELP, I wish that someone would see how hard we have tried, how much we want a better life, how much we NEED a chance to overcome our illnesses and bad luck....I wish Life would give us a CHANCE, just once.......let us keep a job, let us keep our health, let us better ourselves.......I don't want a hand out, I just want to be able to support my family and live a comfortable life in a nice home, i don't want anyone to GIVE me anything, I just want someone to help ME ACHIEVE, help Rob ACHIEVE a few of our DREAMS.
Why can't we catch a break? why is this life so hard? what is the lesson I am supposed to be learning? I know no one has the answers, and some would say trust in God, and everything happens for a reason....but right now I need some answers!
Every bone in my body wants to Run as fast as I can from this life, I want to give up and just not get out of bed, I want to leave this life behind and start again, I want a DO OVER.
and yet my brain says, be logical, before long you will have a job, and my heart reminds me that my babies need me, and that my husband loves me, and that leaving wouldn't fix it, giving up doesn't fix it........so I'm off to pick up my children, and smile at them and tell them I love them and make there lives wonderful because that is what they deserve and no matter how much Life tries to break me THEY will NEVER KNOW IT, thier life will be everything it has been, no matter what!
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