Sunday's brain dump

So I've decided rather than try to write eleoquent posts, that are flowing and funny and all that jaz, I am just gonna brain dump, if it comes out commical or interesting great, if not......well just consider it your own little window into my brain ( its scary in here I know!)

I am so tired and I ache.
I haven't gone to bed before 3 am in I don't know how long now, and I am sleeping like crap.
No real reason I can think of, but damn am I tired!

we went to chruch today, or I guess I should say sunday school since I couldn't drag my tired ass out of bed to make it to service, I just went and taught class. part of me is irritated, as I feel I have deprived myself of that "alone time" that I get the the pew for an hour, its the one time a week that I don't have to worry about the kids, the house, the bills, the dog, the husband, school, the laundry, the doctors, the cats, the dishes........well you get the point......its the one time a week that I can just be me, and refill me.....not mommy, not wifey, but Megan. I spent alot of time seperate from the Spirit as of late, and I have recently been trying to reconnect, it feels good. Of course I still struggle with most of the "foundations" and "rules" of organized religion, but luckly no one seems to notice!
another gripe from my friend from the last post related to religion: Hypocrites! I mean come on people, you can't say "dont do, don't do.....but you can do??? and then turn around on monday and do as you please, or hide who you are. What kind of "God" is that? I have morals, I have beliefes and I have values......I believe the Spirit is LOVE and CREATION nothing more, nothing less. I live by my beliefes and I am at peace with them 100% and I just hate being around people who have to pretend like they arn't doing something because it is what is in "The word" Like my friend she is 27 he is 32 she has two kids, and as far as his family is concerned they have never had SEX!(because "the word" says you shouldn't do that before your married) LMFAO yeah RIGHT!!! because "God" so has nothing else more important to do but worry about if your a 30 year old adult having sex with someone you love and respect who love and respects you? Give me a BREAK! I dispise Hypocrites!

My children have been exceptionally good this long weekend with daddy gone, I am feeling blessed and aprehensive for the storm I know HAS TO BE brewing! Lately I've been scanning the classifieds for a part time job, while at the same time I question if I really should or want to get one? It's all so complicated!

another problem this week is I'm bored outta my mind! I need friends! I'm not one to spend alot of time by myself, but with Rob schedale this week being gone for long weekends, I have been just kinda hanging out at home......all of my friends have hubby's who work week days, or they work too, and it bites!

I'm lonely.......

I need a house keeper! I am bored, but that doesn't seems to increase my want to acutally clean my house LOL I just wanna go have fun I guess! :0)
even tho I don't want to, I really should go and fold some laundry and see what my now quiet kids are up to......

28 more hours and my hubby is home and I can take a damn sleeping pill!!!!
damn I'm tired!