Monday, February 27, 2012
can't let go
tonight is one of those nights. I just finished my homework, spent the day with my kids and wonderful hubby, and sit here thinking...why can't I let go of some of these thoughts? I still desperately want to have another baby, of course I shouldn't and won't since hubby doesn't want more anyway, but I still do. and I still find myself hurt, angry, grieving in a way, the fact that I am being forced to have a career and not be home raising my children. I love my husband, I am glad that I am able to support him and he is a good enough dad to home-school and do laundry and cook and take the kids here and there like I would, I know I'm blessed...but its not what I wanted, and its not fair and I don't like it! but, I suppose I will get over it all and find a way past it all in time. I want to be happy with my life and happy with who I am, and tonight I feel like a lot of that was taken from me. maybe some counseling is in order?