Monday, February 27, 2012

can't let go

tonight is one of those nights. I just finished my homework, spent the day with my kids and wonderful hubby, and sit here thinking...why can't I let go of some of these thoughts? I still desperately want to have another baby, of course I shouldn't and won't since hubby doesn't want more anyway, but I still do. and I still find myself hurt, angry, grieving in a way, the fact that I am being forced to have a career and not be home raising my children. I love my husband, I am glad that I am able to support him and he is a good enough dad to home-school and do laundry and cook and take the kids here and there like I would, I know I'm blessed...but its not what I wanted, and its not fair and I don't like it! but, I suppose I will get over it all and find a way past it all in time. I want to be happy with my life and happy with who I am, and tonight I feel like a lot of that was taken from me. maybe some counseling is in order?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh sweetie - i understand. for the most part. not exactly, but similarly. i wonder why i have to work. why i have to be the one who works AND cares for the kids AND does the budget AND gets shit done. what does hubby have to do?!? oh yeah. dishes and cub scouts.

counseling if you feel it is can help. we all deserve to be happy and do things for ourselves. LOVE and hugs from TX.

i know it's a bother that I am always bringing this up, but we have a lot of hospitals here....and excellent people and affordable housing. i can wait two years for one of my besties to make the move. it may help to be somewhere else. i'd even take time off to drive y'all here! lol we have amazing bars....